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©2017 Natalie Semmelmann




B!RTHF!T Coach

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April 30, 2018

Has anyone reading ever replaced the flooring in their house? And it required tile removal? I am seriously hoping that this is similar to child birth where I am so in love with the end result that I forget the pains leading up.... I am a mess. I am serious, a mess. Why did I think that in the middle of my adrenal restoration that a full house floor remodel was a good idea? Why do I not have the angel in white on my shoulder telling me what a F'ing idiot of an idea it is? WHY? So here I am coming to you in my bedroom where I am locked up with 4 freaked out dogs listening to clang and bang and drilling from two huge tools (machines). It's been an experience. I thought I would get so much work done since I am literally forced to not do anything but instead I am in a time warp where the time flies by and I think all I did was pace the room. I've missed a lot of the gym and that bums me out because our programming has been pretty banging rad lately. We are focusing on Deadlift strength, a w...

April 18, 2018

Have we talked about Butcherbox yet? Did I just end a sentence with a preposition? I think I did. English was never my subject. I preferred lunch period the most.... DUH!

So I have started using Butcherbox.. it's been a few months so I think it is worth talking about now. I want you to stop what you are doing and listen to this. Butcherbox is hands down, without a doubt, like not even bullshitting you, the best meat I have ever cooked. I know I know... eyeroll... I am serious! I knew it was good quality and read how much people love it but when Steve and I started to get what he calls "Natalie's Barkbox" delivered we knew we could never go back.. and I am not talking about back to conventional meats, because you know I would never do that.. I mean I can never go back to the meats I thought were the best from my local markets. 

I don't like chicken breasts... never have. It's boring, you know it is! Flavor-less...... well, now I am questioning who I am because I like them now! 


April 5, 2018

I know a few months ago I quit coffee and I was so super stoked with my creation of a paleo chai black tea replacement and my body freaked the F out and it turned into a major disaster instead of a major achievement. I am still traumatized and won't even touch iced tea. Like never, ever again will I. NEVER (edit: this is a lie, I had some last night)

My adrenals are still shit, maybe worse, I don't know. It's funny but not funny, but I will look back at a time not long ago (like last week)  and wonder how I functioned because I was obviously in a major adrenal crash and didn't have a clue that I was. 

I have become more aware of myself at the gym, I scale back on my weights and I don't go balls to the wall. I also have stopped logging a lot of my scores into wodify, this helps me take the competition out for me, plus that previously discussed dick in the box is still out there and I don't want to feed into them. Dear Dick in the Box... leave me alone already! And I have pretty...

March 21, 2018

But I am a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner, trained in the holistic beliefs that what we eat has a major effect on the functionality of our body so if our skin is our largest organ, and one of our most important detoxing organs then why do we not give a crap about what we are slathering on ourselves? Or better! OUR CHILDREN??? (my mind goes straight towards those dumb sanitizer containers hanging off every kid's backpack... another post about that to come). 

I just recently joined the BEAUTYCOUNTER Army. I am pretty stoked about this. Not because I want to sell stuff and make money.. though that is an added bonus, but because they are just that.. an army of soldiers seeking the rights to have our make-up and toiletries make better sense for the health of our bodies. They fight for transparency in ingredient decks. Go ahead go read your soap ingredients.. shea butter and fragrances.. what the hell are fragrances? 

Coming from my nutrition and health side this transition makes sense...

March 8, 2018

 Photo Credit: Rob Rivera with Strict Press Media

I feel like I have a lot going on in my life and maybe I do, but then maybe I don't and I am just being a big baby about it or maybe my adrenal issues are far worse than I thought or maybe something is stressing me out sooooo let's just say it's all of the above. 

I have elevated cortisol which is the stress hormone (the hormone produced by your adrenals that helps you in life or death scenarios...... and also shit sugar levels). So this means that some times I panic, get bad headaches, gain puffy weight, forget everything, feel like I am in the clouds, lose gobs and gobs of hair and am grumpy, very grumpy. Anything stimulating me from food and environment triggers these spikes and crashes. It's the crash that is the worst. I get flu-like symptoms, just miserable.

So my plan of attack is eat healthy and a lot of it, sleep loads and loads and to listen to my body at the gym and life. Long gone are the days of saying "no pain, no gain". I do...

June 29, 2017

OH MY GOD! Ya'll! Seriously, listen to this shit. I gave up coffee because #1 I have adrenal issues (who doesn't?) and #2 I went AIP and coffee is a No-No. I subbed with some black tea, you know to help with the transition.. read my blog post prior to this.......... I was doing awesome, I mean really awesome. I was not missing my coffee and was loving my newly found black tea that I was making to taste like a Chai. Yeah Buddy! I broke myself of my biggest addiction, pretty sure I could handle anything now. I had super powers. 

UNTIL about 2 weeks into this Coffee exchange..... Coach says run two laps! And so I ran and when I ran I felt my back jiggle. J-I-G-G-L-E... what the F***. Now, I am not a shallow girl, and being skinny doesn't even exist on my list of wants... but this freaked me out. My back doesn't jiggle. I stepped on the scale and 11 pounds! I had gained almost 11 pounds. Not going to lie, being a NTP, this intrigued me, but how can I gain 11 pounds in 2 weeks? That obv...

May 12, 2017

So here I go again with new fandangled ideas for myself, Only this isn't really fandangled, the AIP life is amazing and can be so beneficial to anyone suffering from auto immune disease and their symptoms or have symptoms from things that lead to auto immune diseases like chronic inflammation, leaky gut or their blood sugar levels like to play ping pong.. might sound fun but blood sugar ping pong can wreck your world! (just stop eating sugar, but who am I to tell you that?). 

Enough about you and your sugar addiction, lets get back to me. I have hypo-adrenal issues and arthritis. I know many of the foods eliminated in the AIP (auto immune protocol or paleo, whatever), don't like me. for example: eggs punch my gut, eggplants feel like an alien with a top hat is going to pop out of my stomach singing "Hello My Baby" (if you don't get that reference then I am sorry your life sucks so much). Really AIP is inevitable for me. I need the extra support right now. I am not going to tell you all...

March 31, 2017

Today while I was dropping my baby bird off at school I asked her what she wanted me to make for dinner. I already knew her answer.... "Your should be famous meatballs and spaghetti". HEY! How many people have kids that eat paleo spaghetti and meatballs and think they should be world famous? ME? Yup! ME! I have the coolest little human in the world. 


I didn't want to make that. Don't get me wrong.. I love a good meatball, but Flippin' A, man! I am so over eating them. Well, at least this week I am. I can't resist a good meatball for that long. So this is when I think "what the freak is in that freezer of mine?" grass-fed beef, pastured pork sausage, then I have some rice lasagna noodles.....

I can make lasagna! so here it goes. Pay attention because this was time consuming. Easy like your mom (your mom joke.. anyone?) but time consuming for sure. 

start with the sauce. This needs to cook for at least an hour or more. So start here!


two big things of strained tomatoes (or...

March 17, 2017

 We like pork a lot in our house and I grew up eating schnitzel all.the.time. I spent many of my growing up years in Germany so I know a good schnitzel when I eat one and if you haven't had real german jaeger schnitzel then you just simply have not lived because it is gosh darn delicious. BUT it ain't paleo.... until now. My friend, Stephanie has whole pigs in her fridge at all times (or I at least imagine it like this because I am jealous... so jealous), so I am going to share with her and with you my recipe. But listen, I don't make or follow recipes unless I am baking (because that shit is all sciencey) so stick with me and just relax you got this. 


Go get yourself some pork about 2-4 lbs. sliced tenderloin or boneless chops. Now pound them out. You want these to be nice and thin. 

dry dredge:

about 3/4 cup cassava flour

1/4 cup or so arrowroot powder

himalayan pink salt and pepper

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tsp. onion powder 

and I do a dash of paprika becaus...

March 16, 2017

Going Paleo? Primal? "Clean Eating"? But you just can't give up your cookies? Tell me why you have to give them up?..... Being healthy doesn't mean you have to give up your favorite foods. It just means you are going to make them differently and that is A-OK... But no matter what your treat is, remember a treat is a treat no matter how you roll that dice. Don't be dumb about this. "but they are healthy" no, no they are not, they are just smarter. So eat them sparingly. 

My chocolate chip cookie recipe has been a go-to for me for the last 4 or 5 years. These cookies are the first food I made my honey buns, Steve. They pretty much sealed that deal even though I gave them to him with a bite out of each cookie (I get hungry easily).



1 1/2 cup almond flour

1/4 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt 

1/4 cup Enjoy Life brand Chocolate chip cookies (I really don't measure this. It's a guess)

1/3 cup melted coconut oil (I mix coconut oil and bacon fat here because I can)

1/4 cup maple syru...

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